How do you know it's time to change?

Change can happen in an instant, or it can be a slow burn that creeps up on you over time.  To differentiate between these two types of change, I call the instantaneous variety ‘sudden change’ and the slow burn ‘evolving change’.  In this blog, I’m talking about evolving change.  Evolving change is something you instigate to put a different course of action in process – after you experience a trigger or some type of motivator that urges you to start living your life differently.
 
Knowing when it’s time for change can be tricky.  So many people go through life just putting up with whatever life throws at them with an acceptance of ‘well, that’s just the way life is’.  I used to be one of them.  We get so used to living by rules, ‘shoulds’, and real or imagined expectations of others that we don’t think for ourselves about what we really want from life.  It reeks of compliance, obedience, duty, and little personal investment for going after what you want and creating a life that fulfils you.
 
So, how do you know it’s time for you to make a few changes?  How do you know if your current life is no longer ticking the boxes for you?
 
In a word, it’s stress.  Stress shows up in moods and emotions, emotional responses to different situations, and the words that come out of your mouth (ever hear yourself starting to swear more regularly?  Or start using more negative phrases in situations?  Now, we all have bad days or emotional situations triggered by a bad night’s sleep, or unexpected news, or plans gone awry, or even something we ate.  But when you have a consistent response (emotional, physical, verbal) to a situation, a person, an event, or a job (for example), it’s time to start taking notice.  Here’s a few things I’ve learned to take notice of…
 
Frustration is a key emotional response to take note of when it comes to change.  Irritation is in the same book, being a milder version of frustration.  Frustration is a pretty good indicator that you’re not being true to you in some part of your life, that you’re feeling constrained in your expression and your ability to be yourself.  Do you feel consistently frustrated in some part of your life?  If so, what part of you is feeling restrained and unable to be expressed?  What do you need to change?
 
What about tolerance?  When you’re simply tolerating something it’s a form of frustration or irritation that’s simmering just beneath the surface.  On the outside you’re okay with it, but underneath it’s causing friction.  What are you tolerating?  How is it causing you stress?  What change would you like to experience instead?
 
Anxiety from stress can also be an indicator that something has to change.  I’ve had jobs where I’ve been so filled with anxiety each morning all I wanted to do was throw up or curl up in a ball and not face the day.  That’s not a way to live.  It’s a huge sign that something has to go (big tip: for me it was the job!).  Is there a part of your life that fills your gut with anxiety?  That heightens your stress levels to where you feel unwell?  Perhaps something needs to change.
 
One last tip I’ll give you is to listen to your language.  When you constantly complain about something, it’s clearly a problem for you.  What do you whinge about frequently?  Listen to what you’re saying.  Early in my 20s I came to the conclusion that whinging about something doesn’t change it.  If you don’t like that part of your life either find a way to deal with it, or do something about it.  Trust me, everyone else around you will also be grateful! 😊
 
If change is something you'd love some help with and you want to know when the next blog post comes out (I’m aiming for fortnightly), sign up HERE and receive a free 10-page workbook on How to Stay Sane as You Navigate Change.  Or, call me - I'd love to help if I can!
 
Thanks for reading,
 
Gillian