Making changes in your life can seem like an impossible dream. The idea of making change, of what to do, how to get there – and even knowing what you want can all seem too much. Where do you even start?
The way I tackle problems or goals like this – regardless of how big it might seem – is by breaking it down into steps. Still too big? Break it down into even smaller steps. Just keep breaking it down until it something you can mentally wrap your head around without hyperventilating over the enormity of it all!
When you take things step by step, your focus is purely on what you’re doing next. One thing at a time. A 6km hike starts with one step. Every single step is progress towards the end result. Just focus on the next step or goal in front of you and move towards that.
For example, when I wanted to set up my own business I had absolutely no experience in that area and no idea of how to get there. But I knew what I wanted – my seemingly impossible dream. I wrote down all the things I thought I needed to do to get there. Some of those things were simply written as research: find out about business structures, find an accountant who I could work with, research marketing avenues, find out what marketing is. What I found out during research often generated more things I needed to do, and they went on my list.
I put my list in a general timeline order and grouped like things together: research, appointments, training I could attend. Then I would do one thing every day such as book an appointment, attend an appointment, find business advice websites, read one or more business websites, borrow a book, attend training. Every day was one step in my mind towards my end goal. Every step got me closer to what I wanted to achieve. Did I have all the answers when I started? No. Did I have all the questions or steps outlined when I started? Again, no. But I started. I made a plan of what I knew and went from there: step by step by step.
What ‘impossible dream’ do you have for yourself? What do you need to do to get there? How could you break it down into smaller steps to make it manageable?
If you took one step every day, would it make a difference?
Need some help getting started? Come and see me for a coaching strategy session and we can talk about what you’d like to achieve.
Hope you have a fantastic week!
If you undertake any project in the corporate world, the first thing you need to do is make a plan. You’ve probably heard about marketing plans, communication plans, software implementation plans, strategic plans…and so many other kinds of plans. These all have one thing in common: a clearly defined outcome to achieve in the most efficient way possible. That means considering the time and resources (people and money) available, the stakeholders: who will be impacted, who else needs to know; possible risks, threats and opportunities. All this is identified and strategised before any action is taken. Why? Because if you don’t the project can fall flat on its face very quickly: over budget, no resources, people not engaged, and the goal no where near achieved. Massive fail.
So why is it any different with a personal life change? Why wouldn’t you sit down and make a plan? If you really want to achieve your end goal, the best way to start is with a plan. So where do you start with that? First of all you need to define the problem. What are you dealing with? Why isn’t it what you actually want? What would you like to change about where you are right now? You need to understand what that looks like first.
Then define your goal: where are you going? Don’t get bogged down in the how right now – that's the fastest way to find yourself going nowhere! Just put some words around where you want to go. How would you like your current experience to look, feel, sound, smell like? How would you like to feel while you’re experiencing that part of your life?
You can break down that end goal into two parts if you like:
Once you have the here and there defined you can see the gaps in between. This is where you plan comes into place. What do you need to do to get from here to there? Start by making a list of these things. Don’t worry about the order or the how – just write them down so they’re out of your head. Here’s some suggestions for things to think about:
Write down all the things you need to do – even if they seem small. Writing them down means you don’t have to keep remembering them: you can see them in front of you like jigsaw pieces and you can begin to play with them and see how they fit together.
You might like to gather a list of those things used in a corporate plan:
Once you’ve gathered all the information you can start to structure a plan. You know what you’re dealing with, where you’re going, and what you need to do to get there. Put your list in order of a timeline – what needs to happen first? What needs to happen next?
A good idea is to write things on post-it notes or pieces of paper so you can shuffle them around into an order. Once you have an order, write it out and schedule time in your calendar for each of your steps needing action.
All these steps may not be necessary for every change you implement – but the basic structure will help you put a framework in place so you can actually achieve what you set out to do. Even if you don’t know what all the steps are, you have a general idea of the direction you’re going and the who, what, when, how much involved.
Once you have a plan – don’t forget to take action! Just thinking about it doesn’t get anything done 😊
Need some help with your planning? Book yourself in for a coaching session and we can work through it together.
Have a great week!
One of the fastest ways to stop yourself achieving goals is to think about how you’re going to get there. That may seem contradictory but give me a sec to explain.
I’m all for planning. Actually, planning saves me A LOT of inefficiency because it means I can get a few things done at the same time if they fit logically together. For example, getting all the things you need from the one aisle in the supermarket while you’re there, instead of going from one end of the shop to the other because that’s the order your list is in. Or scheduling meetings on the same day so you can plan for an uninterrupted day of desk work.
Planning is great for those day to day tasks where you know what the outcome looks like. Want to go shopping? Write your list. Want to go on a trip? Plan your itinerary. Want to meet friends for lunch? Put it in your diary. Think it, plan it, do it.
But what about those bigger goals? The ones that seem bigger than you can imagine. Those that you have no idea HOW you would ever get there? Well, this is where the conflict can arrive. Because in those situations, all of a sudden, the how becomes super important in your mind. In fact, because you don’t know how you’re going to get there (now), you become convinced you’ll never know how, and therefore you won’t be able to get there and the how wins. The goal goes from being something to aim for, to a dismissed dream. Simply an idea you got excited about for a moment only to have it slip through your fingers. But it doesn’t have to.
When you have one those big, hairy ideas where you can’t imagine HOW you’re going to there – don’t think about the HOW. So, you don’t know how – so what?! Focusing on the ‘lack of how’ will only crush any momentum you ever had towards making that idea a reality. Put the how aside. Say yes to the idea. Lean into it. Give it space to breathe and grow legs.
There’s a well-known saying “If you can dream it, you can do it” – and that ‘doing it’ means a focus on the dream, not on the how. When you give that dream, that idea, space to breathe…it finds its own ‘how’.
At the start of this year, I wrote a list of things I wanted in place by 31 December 2019. I had no idea HOW any of these would happen. The how wasn’t my focus, the outcome was. Here’s a sample of how the year has gone:
If you stopped focusing on the how, and leaned into your (big, hairy) goal – what would change for you? If you find this idea to be a challenge…why is it a challenge? What’s one goal you’d really like to achieve, but you keep getting caught up in the how?
I’d love to hear from you! Let me know your experience with the ‘how’ by leaving a comment below.
Have an awesome week,
A couple of weeks ago, I outlined 5 Steps to Navigating Change. If you missed that blog – you’ll find it here.
Here are those steps again in brief (but for the detail, I’d really suggest checking out that blog!):
What I love about these 5 steps is the way they can be applied to change of any size. It doesn’t matter whether you’re planning a weekend away or moving across the country; whether you’re cooking a meal or catering for a party of 100s; whether you’re switching to a new work team or need to find a whole new job.
There are a couple of reasons I bring this up. One is the big O…for Overwhelm. When it comes to day-to-day things you might fly through your day without a trouble in the world – but the moment something happens that breaks you out of your routine and all you know – wham! Grinding halt. Overwhelm = nothing gets done and procrastination steps in.
Another reason is the voice is in your head that sends you all sorts of negative messages about your ability to cope and completely erases any memory of the success you’ve had before. Your brain can be so good at telling you all the things you don’t need to hear right now and turning that pimple of an issue into a Kosciuszko-sized problem. Which of course leads to the big O and nothing gets done.
With the 5 Steps to Navigating Change, you have a beautiful formula to apply to any change – regardless of whether it’s big or small. For small changes – just go from steps 1 to 5. For the big picture of a big change – you can also just go from 1 to 5. But to really get some traction, it’s much easier if you break that big change into smaller parts such as sections of work, or stages to be completed. Each of those sections or stages has its own set of 5 Steps. The starting point (or define here) and goal (define there) is different for each. Keeping the sections small and manageable helps you stay positive and focused towards the goal, which helps to overcome that big O.
When it comes to your next point of change, have a go at applying the 5 Steps. If the change seems too big, break it down into smaller parts and then use the 5 Steps for each. Let me know how you go!
Got questions? Comment below or send me an email at email@example.com.
Enjoy the rest of your day, and thanks for reading,
I get asked this question a bit. It seems to be a source of confusion, often because the two terms are used interchangeably…when actually they are two different things.
Any goal setting framework will tell you that a goal must be specific and measurable. The measurable part means that the goal will usually include a quantity or a timeline, or both. For example, a goal may be to do two household tasks. Or do household tasks for two hours. Or do two household tasks in two hours. Each of these examples are specific and measurable. There is a way of determining whether you’ve achieved the goal or not.
An intention on the other hand is a point of focus. While it may include a timeframe, the time is less important than the actual point of focus. For example, an intention may be to use less single use plastics this year, or to increase your energy levels, or have more time with the kids. While there are timeframes or quantities in these examples – it’s up to you to determine what this is. Having a point of focus means your mind is open to the opportunities that present themselves to make that intention happen. For example, you may become aware of all the parts of your life that use single-use plastic – and alternatives available on the market. You may become aware of when your energy is lower or higher and start to observe choices you can make to increase your energy: perhaps a dietary change, a visit to the doctor, adding a daily walk to your routine, or improving your sleep habits. The intention creates the focus, which implements increased awareness for opportunities.
Both goals and intentions are useful in creating or navigating change because they keep you on track for changing habits and introducing a new direction in your life. Some people prefer goals because they like a specific thing to work towards. Other people prefer intentions because it takes the pressure off and they still find they are productive in achieving the purpose of their intention. Some instances can use both. Your intention may be to have more time with the kids, so you might set a goal of a total of half an hour of one-on-one time with each of your kids this week. The goal is specific: you can measure it. Holding your intention of more time with the kids increases your awareness of the opportunities to grab 10 or 15 minutes where you can, or to rearrange your chores so you can max out and have a whole half-day with them!
This week, use a goal or an intention to implement change in your life. If you usually use goals, try incorporating intentions, and vice-versa. Experiment till you find what works best for you.
Leave a comment below and let me know how you went!
Have a great week and thanks for reading,
The emotional onslaught that can come with a sudden change is overwhelming. That moment, when in the blink of an eye, your world as you know it changes. Maybe you received some news. Perhaps you witnessed an event, or something happened to you. Maybe you just realised that you can’t continue your life as it has been and that something has to change: something has to go so something else can grow. And you sit, as if in a cone of silence, while the world continues around you...with no one else aware that you’re absorbing, attempting to process...to grapple at meaning...and all you can hear is a distant rumble of emotion making its way towards you. What do I do? What just happened? What happens next? Should I call someone?
These emotions can take time to process. How long it takes depends on the individual, what you experienced, and how you respond to change. In my opinion, it’s important to allow yourself to absorb and process the emotions. Some situations require safety (of yourself and/or others) to be secured first...and when you’re in a safe environment, allow those emotions to come. It may help to write, let it all out: your concerns, fears, hopes, and opportunities. In a moment, I’m going to take you through 5 Steps to Navigating Change. Writing your responses to each of these steps will help to sift through what’s happened, where you’re going, and what you’re going to do next.
These 5 steps are a road map I’ve developed for finding my way through any change. They can be used for sudden change or that evolving change that sneaks up on you until you have that ah-ha moment of realisation that ‘something has to change’. The difference between the two in terms of using these 5 steps is the time you give to actioning the steps. With sudden change you usually want to or need to move through the steps quickly to secure your environment...and then go through them again to put a more solid forward plan in place. With evolving change you’re likely to have way more time to allow your plans to unfold. Of course, these statements are generalisations – every situation is different for different people. Once you’ve tried the steps, you can put your own spin on them for the situations you experience.
Step 1: Define Here.
Firstly, write down what happened. Sometimes something seems so overwhelming we don’t fully grasp what’s just happened. When you write it down you get a better grasp on the size and parameters of what you’re dealing with. So, what happened? Who’s involved? Who does the change affect? How much time do you have to put a solution in place (if a solution is needed)?
Step 2: Define There.
Next step is to identify where you want to go. What’s the end goal you’re aiming for? Name it. If you leave it vague and just ‘want to get away from where you are’ you could end up anywhere – and perhaps in a situation ‘worse’ than where you are now. What do you want? Where are you going? Choose your destination.
If you don’t know what you want as the ‘ultimate end goal’ – then choose then next milestone you can see ahead of you. Name that. What can you aim for right now? Once you get to that milestone, your way may become clearer to the end goal, or to the next milestone after that.
Step 3.Make a plan.
This step has two parts: the external and the internal.
The external plan is for the practical to do list. What are all the practical things you need to take do move from Step 1 (where you are now) to Step 2 (where you want to go)? Do you need to make appointments? Meet someone? Prepare documents? Visit real estate? Research options online? What do you need to do?
Once you have a list of the practical things you need to do, identify the things on your list that are the most urgent through to the things that can happen later. Group them logically in ways that have meaning to you. For example, things you can do at the same time, or things that require the same level of brain attention, tasks you can do with the kids at home, things you’ll need to do by yourself when the kids are at school or with a babysitter...or asleep in bed.
Use the prioritising of tasks and grouping to put these tasks into your calendar or planner. Some tasks can be done first thing in the morning, others when you’re down the street, others when you’re watching TV and researching on your laptop or phone at the same time.
The internal plan is for the emotional processing and shifts that will have happened in the lead up to the change, at the moment of change, and in the aftermath and readjustment to world as you now know it. It’s so important to pay attention to what’s happening on the inside, just as much as the outside. Change is often messy, and it’s crazy how we’re conditioned to get back to smooth sailing (or at least the appearance of it) so quickly. Change. Has. Just. Happened. Your world may’ve just imploded, turned upside down, or been completely relocated. It’s okay to give yourself the space you need to take that in.
Unlike external planning, you can’t simply make a to do list of all that needs to be done to address the internal planning. Instead, it starts with connecting to your feelings about the change. How do you feel about it? What emotions come to the surface when you reflect on it? Don’t feel like you have to rush this. Take your time to step into the emotions and process them. But don’t pack them away forever. Suppressed emotions have a way of working their way to the surface...sometimes when you least expect it! It can help to write about your emotions such as in a journal, or speak with someone about them...someone who will listen and not judge, criticise, or feel the need to ‘fix’ them for you. If you’re looking for actual ‘steps’ to help you...start with reading a book about the change you’ve just experienced. There are many authors out there who have written about their personal experiences and can provide thoughtful direction to help others going through that experience right now.
Step 4: Take Action.
This step is so important. Many people simply make a list of things to do and stop there. If you want to move towards your end goal, you have to do something about it. Take action on the steps you wrote down. Make progress on your external and internal plans.
If you lose your place, go back over the steps. What happened? Where are you going? What do you need to do to get there? Do it.
Step 5. Acknowledge and Review.
This last step is and end point and a step you can insert anywhere throughout the four other steps.
It’s a time to acknowledge what you’ve done, the progress you’ve made (externally and internally), and celebrate wins and milestones.
It’s also a great time to review where you’re at. Your Define Here will be different to where you were. You’re in a different place, and a different headspace. Is your Define There still relevant or has your goal shifted? It’s okay if it has...it’s your goal! Are there additional steps you need to take, or steps you can drop? Do you have greater awareness of your internal processing, or do you need to ask someone for help? Are you committing to taking action, or are you resisting action for some reason? Is that something you need to work through? What about acknowledging yourself? Does that come easily, or do you brush it off and ‘get on with the work’?
Change usually happens for a reason. Even if you can’t see it at the time.
These five steps can be used over and over again, in just about any change situation. They can help to give a framework to that emotion and shock of change when it first hits, to propel you forward and on a pathway to an end goal.
Why not give them a go, and see if they work for you?
Looking for some extra help? Download the How to Stay Sane as you Navigate Change workbook available from the home page. This workbook takes you through Steps 1 and 2 in much greater detail so you can apply them to your current change experience.
Trust all is well in your world,
Change can affect people in different ways, but I’ve noticed there are general patterns that show up on a regular basis for most of us. Whether it’s sudden change (that happens in a moment), or evolving change (that builds up over time), that first moment of change happening or the awareness that it’s needed is an emotional one. These emotions can range from bursting into tears (from happiness, shock, grief, or overwhelm) through to a happy dance or an adult-sized tantrum, popping a champagne cork or two or wanting to punch something. Whichever way it comes out – the emotions usually come first.
Emotions are the response…but what do you really need to DO after change rolls through?
Depending on the change, processing your emotions may be the only thing you can do (or feel up to doing) for a while. And you know what, that is absolutely okay and where you need to be. It annoys me how there’s so much out there in the media that urges people to switch to positive thinking, and moving on to fixing the ‘problem’, when you’re clearly not ready for it. Trying to rush your emotions after change will likely come back to bite you later (speaking from experience here).
I know sometimes you need to shelve your emotions to ‘get on with it’ and get a few practical things done – but my advice is 1) make the shelving only a temporary thing - those emotions do need to be processed for your own health, wellbeing, and personal development; and 2) if you need time out to have a melt down then you go right ahead and do it. Take the time you need to process what’s happened. Be gentle with yourself, be kind and give yourself the space you need to adjust. It’s okay to not have all the answers right away. It’s okay to be a bucket of tears or wander around in a daze. Allow yourself to process and shift and adjust. When you’re ready, you can take the next step.
So, what is the next step? What’s the first step to take once your emotions have peaked? Well, that’s when I step into project mode and take an inventory of what’s just happened. I write down, or mentally go over, what’s happened so the whole experience can take shape more clearly in my mind. For me, order in the middle of chaos soothes my brain and helps me find direction for moving forward. I ask myself things like:
Putting together answers to these questions gives me some order to the jumble and craziness that can go with a change experience. Even if I don’t have all the answers straight away, by asking myself these questions I know I’ll subconsciously keep looking for the answers while I’m processing the emotions or the basic practicalities of day to day that still need to happen.
Give it a go and see if it helps you.
Download the free workbook How to Stay Sane as You Navigate Change and work through these questions as they relate to your change situation – you can access the workbook here.
What's the first thing you do after the emotions of change have swept through? How do you start making sense of your life? I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Thanks for reading,
Change can happen in an instant, or it can be a slow burn that creeps up on you over time. To differentiate between these two types of change, I call the instantaneous variety ‘sudden change’ and the slow burn ‘evolving change’. In this blog, I’m talking about evolving change. Evolving change is something you instigate to put a different course of action in process – after you experience a trigger or some type of motivator that urges you to start living your life differently.
Knowing when it’s time for change can be tricky. So many people go through life just putting up with whatever life throws at them with an acceptance of ‘well, that’s just the way life is’. I used to be one of them. We get so used to living by rules, ‘shoulds’, and real or imagined expectations of others that we don’t think for ourselves about what we really want from life. It reeks of compliance, obedience, duty, and little personal investment for going after what you want and creating a life that fulfils you.
So, how do you know it’s time for you to make a few changes? How do you know if your current life is no longer ticking the boxes for you?
In a word, it’s stress. Stress shows up in moods and emotions, emotional responses to different situations, and the words that come out of your mouth (ever hear yourself starting to swear more regularly? Or start using more negative phrases in situations? Now, we all have bad days or emotional situations triggered by a bad night’s sleep, or unexpected news, or plans gone awry, or even something we ate. But when you have a consistent response (emotional, physical, verbal) to a situation, a person, an event, or a job (for example), it’s time to start taking notice. Here’s a few things I’ve learned to take notice of…
Frustration is a key emotional response to take note of when it comes to change. Irritation is in the same book, being a milder version of frustration. Frustration is a pretty good indicator that you’re not being true to you in some part of your life, that you’re feeling constrained in your expression and your ability to be yourself. Do you feel consistently frustrated in some part of your life? If so, what part of you is feeling restrained and unable to be expressed? What do you need to change?
What about tolerance? When you’re simply tolerating something it’s a form of frustration or irritation that’s simmering just beneath the surface. On the outside you’re okay with it, but underneath it’s causing friction. What are you tolerating? How is it causing you stress? What change would you like to experience instead?
Anxiety from stress can also be an indicator that something has to change. I’ve had jobs where I’ve been so filled with anxiety each morning all I wanted to do was throw up or curl up in a ball and not face the day. That’s not a way to live. It’s a huge sign that something has to go (big tip: for me it was the job!). Is there a part of your life that fills your gut with anxiety? That heightens your stress levels to where you feel unwell? Perhaps something needs to change.
One last tip I’ll give you is to listen to your language. When you constantly complain about something, it’s clearly a problem for you. What do you whinge about frequently? Listen to what you’re saying. Early in my 20s I came to the conclusion that whinging about something doesn’t change it. If you don’t like that part of your life either find a way to deal with it, or do something about it. Trust me, everyone else around you will also be grateful! 😊
If change is something you'd love some help with and you want to know when the next blog post comes out (I’m aiming for fortnightly), sign up HERE and receive a free 10-page workbook on How to Stay Sane as You Navigate Change. Or, call me - I'd love to help if I can!
Thanks for reading,
When change thunders through your life or appears like dark clouds on the horizon…how do you respond? Do you run and hide under the covers? Do you stand still and hope it goes around you? Or do you gather your internal army and stand strong, ready to take on whatever is coming your way?
None of these are wrong: they’re all instinctive responses to an incoming stressful event. Which is exactly what change is: an incoming, unknown entity which by that very definition is likely to get the heart beating a little faster. However, knowing how you respond to change can help you be more prepared for it.
I used to be someone who stood still and hoped the change just passed me by. If I didn’t make eye contact, it wouldn’t know I was there, right? Ah, no. Usually that just meant I got bundled up in the change circus and dumped out the other side of the big top with little clue about how I got there. Not much fun, but I made it through.
However, as you may know, I can’t stand inefficiency – and I found this way of approaching change to be really inefficient. So I tuned in to when I started to freeze and mentally sidle towards a quiet place where I hoped life would pass me by. That ‘freeze’ feeling became my trigger to recognise that change (i.e. a stressful incoming event) was coming – and then I could start to prepare. I would assess what was happening, how big the change was, what the impacts were, and how it might affect me. From this quick assessment, I would mentally run through options of what I could do next to optimise the inevitable change. (The result was usually a much more ‘productive’ experience of change. I’m not saying it was easy, or without emotional fallout, but I could ride the wave with more awareness and engagement. Awareness and engagement with change leads to greater personal development, and saves you experiencing the same change over and over again – but that’s a story for another day).
My point here is to recognise your default response to change, or at least to ‘incoming stressful situations’, whether that’s to fight, flight, or freeze. By ‘recognise’ I mean notice how you feel. Notice sensations in your body, your mind, and your emotions. Learn to read your emotional responses so you instinctively become aware of ‘that sensation’ which alerts you that change is coming. Don’t get bogged down in what you do next (unless you’re ready to go there – again, that’s a different story) – just start to attune yourself to your response. Once you start to become aware of that response, ask yourself ‘why’. Why do you respond in that way? Why is your response to fight and not freeze? Or why do you freeze instead of running away or fighting? What’s going on in your mind at that point? What thought processes are happening so fast you’ve never stopped to reflect on them, until now?
If change is something you struggle with and you want to know when the next blog post comes out (I’m aiming for fortnightly), sign up HERE and receive a free 10-page workbook on How to Stay Sane as You Navigate Change.
Thanks for reading,
Learning about something new usually starts with a few base definitions, yet defining ‘change’ is something that’s taken me years – and huge range of change experiences – to get my head around. Because ‘unfortunately’ change is something you only learn about as you experience it. Nobody sits you down at the start of life and says ‘right, so let me teach you about change’.
So, what have I learned?
Change is the transformation of a relationship – with a person, an experience, a routine, an event, a memory, a physical item…with anything you form an attachment to. Those attachments may be light and superficial, and you can easily detach from them. For example, you want to wear your favourite red shirt to work and discover it’s in the wash basket. No drama – you’ll just have to wear something else today!
Or the attachment may be a deep bond of sharing such as a relationship with another person - intimate, family, or friend; or your relationship with the house you grew up in, or a business you’ve poured your heart and soul into and built from the ground up. So much emotion, so many memories, so many highs and lows are entwined with that relationship. So when that relationship is changed – wrenched from you by force or you gradually realise something has to go – it’s felt deeply and can make the change more challenging to adjust to and release. When your identity, or perception of who you are, is also tightly bound up in that relationship then it can seem as if your whole world is crumbling: because you’ve lost a sense of who you are. You’ve given your heart away.
The same thing happens when you have ideals and expectations of how an event or relationship ‘should be’. When things don’t turn out quite as expected, it can be a shock and take quite a bit of mental and emotional readjustment to process what happened, because your heart was set on a particular outcome. When it doesn’t arrive, again, you’ve lost that connection with your heart space.
The common thread in these examples is your natural attachment to your heart - to you. The change that’s happened is like a break-up with yourself, but you’re so focused on the event, thing, or other person that you don’t connect with your own heart to explore the pain. That’s what hurts; that’s what turns your world upside down – the separation from where your heart has been invested and from who you think you are.
So, why is knowing this a good thing?
For me, it’s helped to look at change objectively and understand what’s happening – like from a helicopter viewpoint, even while I’m emotionally processing the situation. When I look at the change situation and notice where my heart was invested, I also realise my heart is still with me and not left behind with the person/thing/event.
For example, a few years ago I was unsuccessful in obtaining a job contract I’d been acting in for a number of months – and absolutely loved. Not getting the job was a shock to the system, and I was pretty upset about it because I’d put my heart and soul into it. Looking at it through my ‘definition of change’ perspective, I realised the real emotion was because I thought I’d lost that part of me when I lost the job. Not true. I still had the relationships I’d built. I still had the skills and the connection with the type of work I loved. I could replicate that anywhere. The change wasn’t so upsetting when I reconnected with my heartspace and understood it.
If I hadn’t re-defined my experience through an objective look at change, I may still be clinging to all I thought I’d lost, buried in the shock and emotions of that time.
When you look at your change experiences, do you see them like a broken relationship? Can you see how your heart was invested, and was forced to shift? How might a new perspective of defining change help you to adjust to that change?
If change is something you struggle with and you want to know when the next blog post comes out (I’m aiming for fortnightly), email me at email@example.com and ask for your name to go on the blog mailing list. (Eventually there’ll be somewhere on my website you can opt-in – but until then the process is old-school 😊)
Thanks for reading,
Life experience has taught me a lot about change - its messiness and my desire to circumnavigate it in a more efficient way. In this blog I share my experience so you too can survive change with a smile on your face!